Never Give Up.
Today’s post comes from Natalie, who writes over at Miss Dainty Daisy…
My whole life I’ve been the outcast. Always the black sheep of not only my family, but what seemed like every social situation. Every girl dreams of looking somewhat like their Barbie doll and finding their Ken. But in reality, most of us never will achieve that so-called perfect look.
For as long as I can remember in my school life, I’ve been bullied. A lot of the time, I was bullied for the most trivial of things. These days, you hear about the fat kids being the ones that are getting picked on. But this was quite the opposite for me. Yes…I was bullied for being skinny. My whole family are naturally slim. An enviable trait for a lot of people. But I was tormented so much for having ribs that stick out and wrists that were so skinny, you couldn’t even ‘Chinese-burn’ them. I would get people trying to see if they could fit me through the school railings, just to see how skinny I was. The more people taunted me for being skinny, the more I actually wanted to stay that way, to prove it wasn’t by choice…unfortunately this lead to a pretty serious battle of anorexia. I battled with it for almost 4 years. And people who have suffered with anorexia will tell you it’s probably the loneliest thing any people will go through. No one understands you at all.
I didn’t wear makeup at school. No.1 I couldn’t afford it. No.2 I didn’t know how to use it and 3. I didn’t need it. Again natural beauty is something considered to be a firm desire in society today…is it not? Even after being bullied though for not wearing makeup, I will continue to stand by the fact that makeup is not always a necessity. Yes I wear it now, but I still don’t wear a lot. And I’m super proud of myself for that. My boyfriend always compliments the fact that I’m not caked in makeup.
The single biggest thing that affected me was and is my nose. I actually can’t stand it, even to this day. I have always been bullied for it. When I was 18, I was offered a nose job on the NHS, which I was pretty keen to accept, as you can imagine. But there where things holding me back. Firstly, I had just landed my first ever job, which was a super big deal for me. It sounds silly but it made me think, ‘They wouldn’t have hired me if I was ugly’. Also, why would I go through this major surgery just because other people don’t like the way look? My mum had always told me how much she thought I would suit super short hair. To be honest, it was always something I considered. So, with my birthday money in hand, I went for the chop. I got in the hairdressers and within 5 minutes of being sat in the chair, my hair was almost completely gone. And you know what? I felt completely liberated. I loved my new look and my nose was hardly noticeable at all. That day, I cancelled my nose job operation. It was without a doubt a hard decision, but it also ended up being the best decision.
I had a completely new outlook on life…simply from a haircut and realizing that I’m the bigger person. I changed my look completely. I went from being a plain jane, to really not caring. And that’s when the compliments started flooding in. I got tattooed, and I am now quite the addict to them. Your body is your canvas, your journal and your story. Every tattoo has a different meaning and significance. Shortly after all this happened, I landed my dream job as a blogger and editor. I’ve always wanted to be a writer. My mum said it was a gift. For a lot of girls, the way they look means a lot to them. For most girls, it’s all about fitting in. But why be a pigeon, when you can be a peacock?